


I Found Peace In Your Arms

by flyingorfalling



Series: Being Your Mother [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mom!Pepper, Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 10:11:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21456340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingorfalling/pseuds/flyingorfalling
Summary: Sometimes all you need is a hug from the right person.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: Being Your Mother [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1420483
Comments: 3
Kudos: 57





	I Found Peace In Your Arms

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt, kinda, and it takes place a few weeks after the battle while Tony's still in a coma. I may have overdid it with the angst, so I'll pay for any emotional damage.

A few weeks ago, a doctor had told her the burn Tony had suffered was so severe his arm had to come off, and she had thought that to be the worst news she’s ever heard. But then just two days later, there was a phone call about how Tony had suddenly fallen into a coma, and Pepper almost broke down, falling into a coma herself right in front of the eyes of her daughter.

The doctor had told her it wasn’t a coma like you see in the movies. Tony’s brain was very active and he seemed to be going in and out of REM cycles. He was simply asleep, he said, and that in all likelihood, he would wake up very soon. But Pepper knew that a coma was a coma, even if it wasn’t a _coma_ coma, even if he called it sleep. After all, sleep was _not_ not a coma. And now, six weeks later, that same doctor was telling her Tony’s body was rejecting the treatment he had been on for some time.

“I don't understand sir... How can his body be rejecting the very thing he needs in order to get well? And why is this only happening _now_?”

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out, Mrs. Stark.”

“Will... Is he...?” Pepper swallowed, tears welling in her eyes. She didn’t blink, but she didn’t look away from the man watching her, either. “Is my husband ever going to wake up?” She took the doctor’s silence as a no. “Oh God, what am I supposed to tell our little girl?”

She swayed dangerously and reached a hand out instinctively to steady herself. The wall of the hospital’s hallway was the only steady thing in her life at this minute, and she clung to it like she had clung to Tony on the battlefield when she’d thought she’d lost him. She hadn’t then, because he had started breathing again, but Pepper felt like this was finally the moment where she had to say goodbye for good.

But how could she ever let go of the man she loved more than anyone ever in her life, the father of her daughter? Her soulmate?

A look of concern spread across the doctor’s features, then he said, “We haven’t given up on him yet, but I’m not going to lie to you, Mrs. Stark, there is little, if any, chance that he will come back, so you may wanna start thinking about—“

“No!” Pepper let out a repressed sob then pulled herself together again with all the dignity she could muster. With a forced infusion of pride she said, “I’m not gonna give up on him, and you won’t either.” She pressed her lids together, trapping the tears, and then she opened her eyes and looked at him with a plea on her lips.

“I will do everything in my power,” he said with a soft nod. “You have my word.”

She mouthed a thank you, waited until he had left before she leaned her back against the wall and breathed in and out, again and again. She felt like she was having a panic attack. It was almost impossible for her to calm her breath. Her body collapsed hard on the floor, so hard indeed that she hurt herself a little, but she didn’t care. Burying her face in her arms, as she hugged her knees, Pepper started sobbing loudly—the moment was captured by a paparazzo and made the front page of the Daily Bugle the next morning.

“I can’t believe someone would do this to you,” Happy snorted angrily. “And this headline! _Tony Stark finally causes Pepper Potts to break down_... W–What do they mean, _finally_? You think they’ve just been waiting for this to happen all along? Like, all these years you and Tony—“

“Happy,” she said his name with a faint smile. Pepper rolled her shoulders and tried to crack the tension out of her neck—what she wouldn’t give to feel Tony’s warm fingers massaging it instead. “I don’t care what they write about me or Tony. If they want this to be their headline, fine. I just want them to leave our kid out of it.”

“No, it’s _not_ fine,” Happy almost shouted. “We’re gonna sue them.”

Pepper sipped her coffee with a steady hand, but it wasn’t hard to see that she was upset. There was wateriness in her blue eyes, and the sleeve of her tie-dyed sweater was wet from all the times she had wiped it across her face. She cried herself to sleep almost every night, but made sure to always stay strong for her daughter. Still, after six weeks of doing that she was truly exhausted. She didn’t know how long she could keep this up, especially knowing there wasn’t much hope left. She just couldn’t take it anymore.

“I gotta get Morgan,” she mumbled, as she slowly got up from the chair. “She needs to eat something before we leave for the hospital.”

“Have you told her yet?”

Shaking her head, Pepper sighed. “I don’t know how to tell her. I mean, how do you tell your child that her daddy might never...”

Fear wrapped itself around Pepper’s mind, and before she could even finish that sentence, her vision went dark and she slumped forward. Happy caught her weight and lifted her in his arms so that she didn’t collapse to the ground. He pulled her back upright, tight against his hard body, and felt the tension in Pepper’s fingers as she gripped his shoulders.

“Easy, Pep. I got you.”

Pepper breathed in and out deeply, holding on to him for several seconds until her head stopped spinning and she could stand on her own. Letting go, her voice quivered a little, as she said, “I want so much to believe that he’ll be fine and I–I try to… think positive... you know, for her and for myself, but... What if I really lost him this time, Happy?”

Her suffering was excruciating to him. Happy could scarcely stand to see her eyes so red and full of tears. He didn’t know what to say to comfort her, because he felt the same way. He tried not to let any negative thoughts consume him, whether he was awake or asleep, but the longer Tony was in a coma the harder it became. If he could do anything to ease Pepper’s pain, he would. She had been through so much already, so many times when she thought she’d lost him. She didn’t deserve this, any of it.

As he hugged her, and let her cry against his chest, he told her over and over again that it was going to be all right, until Happy almost started to believe it himself. “Tony vowed to annoy you for the rest of your life, I was there, remember? He’s gonna live up to that promise, you’ll see…” And even through her pain, Pepper managed to laugh softly at Happy’s words.

Tears dried, she knelt at her daughter’s bedside and took a moment to admire God’s creation. As she kept staring into her face in wonder, a smile got hold of Pepper’s lips. She smoothed Morgan’s hair off her forehead and tenderly ran a hand over her cheek. Reverently, her eyes traced the black arch of her brows, the nose, her stubborn chin, and her quick to speak mouth. What a child life blessed her with. Even if her worst nightmare came true, at least she still had her baby girl.

“Time for breakfast, honey. Daddy’s waiting,” she whispered, as she softly kissed her cheek.

“Mommy?” Yawning, Morgan rubbed her eyes and looked at her.

“Good morning, my gorgeous girl,” Pepper said, smiling. “How was your night? Did you sleep okay?“

“No nightmares,” she answered, her tired face breaking into a little smile.

Relief rushed through Pepper like a cold drink on a hot day. “That’s good, right?”

“Yes, but...” Morgan paused, looking at her mother as though she was waiting for something.

“What? What’s wrong, Morgan?”

“Are you okay, Mommy?”

“Why would you ask me that?” Pepper wondered, stroking Morgan’s hair.

“Because you cried,” the little girl whispered, her voice as faint as the sound of waves in a seashell, sad and soft.

“You heard me cry?”

Morgan nodded.

“Last night?”

Again, she nodded.

“Was that the only time you...?” Pepper swallowed. “Did you hear Mommy cry a lot?” Somehow, referring to herself in the third person made her feel less like she failed, failed to be the mother that her daughter needed her to be.

“Sometimes,” Morgan answered quietly, as though she had said something she wasn’t supposed to say.

“Oh, honey... I’m sorry!”

Pepper’s chest felt hollow, her heart dead and still. Her shoulders became almost too heavy to hold up. She fought back tears as she stared at her daughter. Those damn tears! She’d never cried so much in her life as in these few weeks. It was as if all her defenses had been trampled down.

“I’m really sorry you had to hear that.” She crawled into bed with her daughter, slipping one arm around her as she rested her cheek on the top of Morgan’s head. “It’s just that...” She sighed. “I miss your daddy so much!” In the uttering of those six simple words, Pepper felt a stab of emotion that threatened to overwhelm her. She quickly shook it away. “His voice... his touch... you know, the way he holds me. And you know how he likes to lay his head on my lap when we watch TV? I miss that too.”

“I miss Daddy’s smile,” Morgan said sadly, as she snuggled closer.

“Me, too, baby.” Pepper’s voice caught in her throat, but she forced herself to continue. “He’s got such a beautiful smile.” Thinking of it, Pepper couldn’t help but smile. It was a sad smile, though.

“Maybe you have to give Daddy a really long kiss.”

“What do you mean, honey?”

“Like Sleeping Beauty.”

“Like Phillip awakened Aurora with a kiss?” Pepper felt Morgan nod, and she sighed deeply. “I wish that worked, sweetie... I wish I could just... kiss your daddy... I wish my love was enough to...” Feeling her eyes fill hotly with tears, she pressed her lids tightly together to keep them from spilling down her cheeks. She exhaled sharply and opened her eyes again, then lifted Morgan’s chin with her forefinger until she met her gaze. “You know life isn’t a fairytale, darling, no matter how much we want it to be.”

“I know,” she said quietly.

“And your daddy, he’s... He...”

“Is Daddy dying?” Morgan’s taut voice cracked with emotion.

“No,” Pepper replied quickly, trying to sound as convincing and determined as she could. “They said, Daddy’s having a hard time right now, getting better, and they don’t know what to do. But if we believe that he’s going to make it, it doesn’t matter what the doctors say, right? As long as we’re there for him, as long as we let him know that we haven’t given up on him, he’ll keep fighting. I know he will. We just have to be strong for him, okay?“

“Okay,” Morgan said, nestling her head in the crook of her mother’s arm.

Pepper pulled her close and sighed, sitting that way with her for a few minutes until her daughter’s stomach made a grumbling sound, and she had to get up to stuff some food into her mouth. Breakfast was quick, and they arrived at the hospital not long after. They managed not to run into any paparazzi, but Pepper knew they were there—they always were, hiding in the corners of the hospital, some of them even disguised as staff.

Seeing Tony’s body there, on the bed, hooked to all these machines, made Pepper feel sick to her stomach every single time she entered the room. She would never get used to that sight. Unlike her daughter, who seemed so unfazed by everything—the sounds of the ventilator, the tubes, and the way he looked dead already. Morgan ran up to her father, like she always did, and sat down right next to him on the bed. And then she immediately started talking to him about whatever was going inside her head. Pepper, however, was always quiet, smiling at her daughter’s words, and sometimes laughing softly at them, but her heart was so heavy from missing Tony that it cried out for him, loudly and bitterly.

She didn’t know if being alone with him was a blessing or a curse, because she didn’t do much except talk to him, cry, say something again, and then cry some more. There, in this room, when the doors were closed, was the only place where she really felt like she could let go of all the pain, let it all out. Happy had picked Morgan up to get lunch, and she had talked to Tony’s doctor again to hear if there had been any changes since the day before, but it seemed like things were only going to get worse. She knew she had to be strong, that’s what she had told their child, but he was in a coma for almost two months now, and while she wouldn’t let herself give up hope, her heart seemed to break a little more every day.

When Pepper sat down beside him, the first thing she did was to take his hand in both of hers and let out a quiet sob. Then she just sat there staring at him, with tears streaming down her face. “I’m sorry, Tony.” Her voice broke, but she managed to shore it up again. “I feel like I’m failing you.”

He was laying so still, the only movement the rise and fall of his chest, the same chest she had leaned against and rested her head upon countless times since she’d known him. She bent down to kiss his hand. Tony’s familiar taste and scent overwhelmed her for a second, sending tears spilling from her eyes. She bit her lip, willing them to stop. She was so tired of being weak, of crying, of the pain, and the fear of losing him. She was so tired of it all. It was time that he came back to her. It was time for him to come back and tell her that everything would be okay, because she really needed to hear that right now.

“And I feel like I’m failing _her_,” she said, her voice only a whisper. “I try to be a good mother, you know, to be strong for her, but I feel so alone without you, honey, I don’t know what to do.” Pepper’s lips quivered. She was like a child who had exhausted itself with crying, and still trembled with an occasional sob. “I have nightmares about you, about Thanos, _all_ of it. I lie awake all night, or I cry myself to sleep. I didn’t know Morgan could hear it. And now that I do, I feel even worse.” She was silent for moment and just looked at him, trying to smile through her tears. “Just come back, okay?” She combed her fingers through his hair and sucked a deep breath in between her teeth. “I need you,” she whispered as she lay her head down on his chest and closed her eyes.

Pepper smiled a lot during the day, thanks to her daughter and the fun they had in the park. And she laughed. She laughed when she sat with Hope and Scott on the front porch of her home, having dinner and drinking lots of wine. There, in that moment, she was happy. She forgot all about the pain for a minute, the agony, and was just grateful for the caring and loving—and funny—friends she had. But when the night came, and she went to bed, she was back in that hole, back with that dark and empty void in her heart. She let herself cry for only a minute or two, too worried that her daughter could hear her again, and then she stopped. She just stopped, and it seemed so easy this time.

When the door was pushed open, and footsteps sounded on the wood floor, Pepper almost jumped. The moonlight fell upon her daughter’s soft features, and the little girl didn’t say a word as she climbed up and into bed with her mother and threw her arms around her, hugging her tightly. Pepper snuggled up to her, closing her eyes. She listened to the sound of Morgan’s breathing, which was calm and soothing, and just let the warmth of her child embrace her, embrace her heart like a shield, protecting her from the outside world.

“I’m here, Mommy,” Morgan whispered in a voice so warm and loving it would have drawn tears from a heart of stone. “Everything will be okay.”

Pepper’s smile reached her ears, as she lay silent with tears wet on her cheeks—tears of happiness, tears of love, tears of a mother who loved her child with everything that she had to give, completely and forever. And for the first time in weeks when Pepper closed her eyes, nightmares didn't play out against her lids.


End file.
